There will be a point in life when you least expect it, a person suddenly comes into your life, and they change everything. Even after meeting so many people in your life, no one affects you like they did. And these are the people that will hurt you the most probably, letting go and moving on would also seem like the hardest you would have to do. Sometimes we love something which are not meant to be ours, so we just got to let it go. No matter how hard it is going to be, even though sometimes we feel that nothing matters anymore, remember that this will be just another phase, you will get over it one day, maybe right now it hurts and you're lost and nothing seems to be going right, but one day you'll back and you'll realize that you can get through anything, everything do happen for a reason, and one day you are going to meet someone who will be the reason for why it didn't work out with the person from the past.
So i'm writing about all these things is because finally today i decided that it's really time to let go of him. 10 months i loved him with everything i've got and honestly it was the first time i felt real love, the first time i truly loved. Giving up everything that i could just to see him smile, just so that things could be easier for him, i'd sacrificed and work hard for everything till now. But i finally realized that there's a point of time when there's a difference of letting go and giving up. I'm not letting go because i don't love him, i still do very much. But it's going nowhere, in a way things between me and him are impossible. So many things have been going against us and it hasn't been easy. These 10 months, so many things had happen, i had never gone through so much with someone before and it will be hard to forget. I don't think i would ever forget what i had with him, and i think a little part of will be always a little bit in love with him, and this question of 'What if' would be always at the back of my mind, and the sad thing is that i would never get an answer to that. but what i know is that i can't continue being like this, sometimes i wonder why this had to happen, but he thought me to never regret anything, he changed me to be a better a person, and i'm thankful for that. I don't want to say all the hurt, anger and negative stuff that happen in those times. I don't want to move on with an angry heart, i just want to be thankful for the time that i had, smile and leave it as that. Maybe tonight would be another round of tears, but i promised myself that it's really time, i have a bright future that i have to concentrate on and i don't want to let anything affect me right now. i'll find someone who deserve me one day, but for now, I'm just going to concentrate on who loves me, someone has been there for me and has been reminding me of what i deserved. Sometimes it's not the easiest thing to do, but you just know that it's going to be for the best. 30 july 2011, our first date out, you were the first person i went out with when i landed in singapore, remembered how you ask me on Facebook when i was in america for 2 months, i will remember those happy moment, when life just revolved around the both of us. How you cared and love me and used to teach me about love. i'll never forget, i'll never regret. i hope you're happy, even if it doesn't mean me being a part. we'll meet again someday, i know it. i hope by then, we can just smile and keep what we have as memories that can never be replaced. I guess this is goodbye. Goodbye J. my first true love.
1 comment:
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Thanks for this post its really interesting i bookmark your blog for future stuff like this..
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